Only LOVE can heal this land

The power to hate is kept alive by those who choose to keep it alive. Hate is a sin and only brings bitterness to your life. Learning to love our neighbours and turn the other cheek is surely not an easy task in the world that we live in today but one must learn to forgive and forget to live with a healthy heart and mind. We can put an end to the hate and except each other for the unique individuals that we are.

Pay back is not the route to take as we have all felt the pain that goes with that. And still the issues are not resolved; it only evoked fear, slowly starting a vicious sickle. Every man is now for himself and no battle can be won like this.

One man can choose to not hate, but it is his friends, family and fellow people that will bring the change together. Why would you choose to hate if you could choose to love?

Wedding cake-in-the-middle-of-the road

Yes, from my experience the conversation of getting married can surely raise a few eyebrows and some interesting topics. Four years of dating might be a little tip off that the big question might never be popped. Maybe there is a good reason for this – age, money, religion… I am sure if you give me enough time I can get an endless list of excuses together for you. They might even make a little sense. The saddest part is that I am guilty of falling for those excuses.

I convince myself that as a couple we are not ready for marriage, yet we already live together so what is there to be afraid of? In the olden days people hardly dated for more than a year before they tied the knot, and they surely did not live together before doing so.    

Today getting married is a big achievement because it took so much longer to convince your partner that he is really the one, that you will not fall into the statistic of another divorce and that you truly can make a good “braai broodjie’!

I already live like a married couple, the day you accept the TV remote is off limits and complaining about cleanliness issues are going unheard or going the extra mile goes unnoticed and romance is such a mission, you must see big red lights flashing!

So yes, some couples are not bothered to cross this road of marriage and are completely happy to commit themselves to one another without the official “I do”. My life path definitely holds a wedding in the near future, but I see no rush just yet. If I run to fast down this road, I might end up stepping in that wedding cake.

Is all that you have, all that you know?

The past month has taught me that no worldly thing is forever. I realised how we as humans tend to cling to our possessions and how much value and control we give it over our lives. After 20 years living in the same house in Robertson, my parents decided to pack up and start their well deserved retirement years in Franskraal. They started packing and came to the realisation of how much clutter we had gathered over the years. Most of that clutter is really what made our house a home as it held some sentimental value to us.

Five years living in Cape Town, I still can’t call my house my home. Despite the move, Robertson has and will always be my home. It felt permanent, solid, safe and brought me comfort to know that there is always a place to fall back to. Now I can only cling to the memories of the irreplaceable times we had there. The house was never as permanent as I thought, but it is all I know as a home.   

It is a poor idea to lie to yourself

Convincing yourself of the truth while you hold complete control of your own thoughts is like going to a battle but knowing exactly when and how the enemy will attack. Of course you hold the advantage of how you will normally react to a situation and in yourself you win the battle of changing your way of thought and convincing yourself to react differently.

Our minds are trained to know the odds of right and wrong and while we could sometimes mislead our 6^th sense, we can in fact mislead ourselves too. Lying to oneself will disrupt a balance – addiction is a great example where we know we have gone too far. So many people often find themselves caught in the lies to a point that their mind becomes the enemy. The mind is then controlling their thoughts as if the battle has been won and the normal way of thinking no longer exists.

Does constant wrong doings not convince the mind that the wrong way is actually the right way and the right are then wrong?  Small lies carry many more lies to follow. Lies will shape the new thoughts and actions, of which the old will in fact become the lie. So it really does not seem like such a good idea to lie to yourself.

Braking down the barriers

Have you noticed how strangers great one another? We are not really looking one another in the eyes anymore? Other than living in a high speed era and being a career driven generation together with new advanced internet communication tools, people are losing their touch to personal interaction and networking skills. The lack of eye contact shows their fear to let strangers into their lives.

We rather email before we pick up the phone and speak to one another.To some extent even social media is making its contribution to this dilemma. Our conversations are mostly straight to the point as we do not have time to show interest in someone else’s life, in fact we have so much of our own problems we cannot really care. However, greeting a stranger with a smile and making honest eye contact to open up to one another, cost us absolutely nothing.

It is a simple start to braking down the barriers that we put up to try and keep strangers out. We owe this to our country to build relationships and trust, to stand united as one and finally recover from the damages done by apartheid.  

The sound of one hand clapping...

I can still remember my Primary school homework where it all started - how I would sit on the carpet looking up at my mother who would flip the word cards in front of me.  She put in a lot of effort in my education and I was determined to make her proud. I would put my report card in my parents hands and wait for the recognition to follow. It usually did - with great pride! I felt fulfilled in every way.

Today I live for the feeling that comes with achieving something great and I strive for the acknowledgment from others! Only the older we get the higher we set the standard for ourselves to really feel satisfied with our accomplishments. Years later there is really no one to impress other than myself. The effort we put in is only for ourselves, our personal future goals and our unique dreams which we alone have chosen.  

In the end our drive to success is for our own benefit. When we reap the reward, our own pride should be enough to carry us further. There is nothing wrong with giving yourself a pat on the back every once in a while - we should embrace this sound of one hand clapping.

Frozen thoughts

The things you like
The things you like to do
The things you hate
are the kind of things that makes you, you!

But inside all the things lays a frozen iceberg of stormy winds
This represents thoughts that could never be reached
What lies beneath are deeper than a needles sting
A tear for no one to be seen
Like a knife cutting from the inside of your skin
as the feet keeps on walking, the mind not knowing where it has been

As your body heats up and you get madder
your frozen soul lets my body ache and I get sadder
You don't realize but I can sense your pain

By silence you appear hard like a rock trying to push us away
don't you know that water can't stain?
If you cannot seem to talk about it, better hope on a sunny day
as there is no other way the ice can melt away...

Not all who wonder are lost

Do not judge those who wonder. They might have a tendency to arouse fear, astonishment or surprise but their way of thought should be admired and respected.

We all might wonder but not all who wonder are necessarily lost, as we are in control of our thoughts, we possess the power to not become lost in thought and to take action when we are in the question of doubt.

J.R.R. Tolkien said: "All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring; renenwed shall be blade that was broken, the crownless again shall be king.”

So in doubt we find that we indeed are the only ones who hold the power to control our lives and when we wonder, we know and when we know we learn and grow to control any situation that may come our way to fight or recover from being mislead.

The drive of life

Each day a rollercoaster ride and each day there is someone else standing by your side.

Like leafs surfing on the waves of the wind, some grown higher and see more sun – but all falling to the ground and dying in the dust.

When high tide comes we stand alone with an unstable grip of the sand giving way underneath our feet – it is up to you if you are going to fall, swim or run.

Like a small stone pushed down the river stream until it finds a strong hold in between the bigger stones and dust.... maybe it is not where it wants to be, but at that moment and time that is the safest place for me.

The will of God sometimes push us into situations where we do not want to be but with this He gives us power, knowledge and strenght, protects us and guides us to learn, grow and move on to succeed in our unique life goal.

How do you step from the top of a 100-foot pole?

A famous story from a koan in Zen literature presents the provocative question, “How do you step from the top of a 100 foot pole?

Our lives can become a journey of ups and downs and we can often find ourselves on the top of a 100 foot pole. At some moment in our lives we can feel that we have reached the top of a job position or learned all we can from an experience to move on to the next challenge or experience.

It can be either in relationships, in our work and in our lives where we have to take the risk and make the effort to move on.

It takes courage as reaching the top and starting all over again is a risk that one must be willing to take. So take the step with courage, strength and eagerness to experience a new life path. This is how one develops and grows.